You may have noticed that when you read my last blog post, “Something Stinks, Oh its a Counter-Offer” http://akajohnsanders.com/?p=752, that I am feeling very opinionated this year.
Is it possible that since I had my daughter a month ago, I have been getting less sleep so it could be making me an old curmudgeon?
Or is it simply that I HATE NETWORKING WHAT NETWORKING HAS BECOME and I really need to share my thought with you before I explode!!!
I believe it is the latter and let me tell you why:
I network. But not like some people I have seen who could care less if I ever woke up the next day. Do you feel that networking has gotten too impersonal with all the technology currently replacing a good old handshake and lunch?
When I approach people, I channel John F. Kennedy and think, “what could I possibly do for this person”, not, “what can this person do for me.”
Remember that old Depeche Mode song, “People are People…” Its true folks, don’t forget we are all humans on this journey together. We are not stepping stones, garden tools or any other mechanical apparatus. We are just like you!
You see, my biggest issue is that networking in its most mechanical form is the act of objectifying humans and converting them into cogs that will be used in future transactions.
And that is why I hate the whole concept of networking, its become a bit impersonal for my taste. That is why I leverage technology to let people know as much about me as possible. This way every conversation with me is warm. You read my blog, my LinkedIn profile or watch my videos, and you already know what’s up with me.
You automatically know what value I bring. If I don’t add value to your life, don’t call me. Its ok, I will survive.
I do all of this because I learned a long time ago that it does not matter who you know unless they know you in return. And meeting someone here and there does not mean you know them. If you don’t have a meaningful conversation, then who cares if you ever met?
Here is an idea that is not only effective, but also very rewarding:
Instead of saying, “I am going to a networking lunch because so and so knows person X who can really get us that big deal”; you say, “I am going to meet some folks for lunch because I think I really can help in a big way?” Imagine how your passion and energy will translate into that conversation. It will just radiate from your being.
And people will want to see you over and over again.
Even if you are the one being sold to, there is always an opportunity to do something bigger if both people work together genuinely and not robotically.
I love people who are passionate, driven and just so eager to get something done. Life really is ultra-short in the larger scheme of things so its definitely a pleasure to tag-team with a person or group to tackle a bigger project.
But it reeks of sin when someone just wants to know someone for the sake of knowing someone, because they can come in handy someday.
So are all networkers out to make a buck? Probably, don’t you have bills to pay and mouths to feed? But some networkers will put the buck before you and others like me, will place the buck well behind you.
That is the key difference. So next time you go “network”, hang the “what’s in it for me” attitude in the closet. And bring your best, “what I can do for your speech” and watch your fan club grow!
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by John Sanders. John Sanders said: New blog post: Why I Hate What Networking Has Become and How It Should Be Done: http://tinyurl.com/akajs4 [...]
I just saw your question on LinkedIn and I want to leave my response here too because it’s an important point. I, for one, love networking online. I’m naturally shy but am also a “people person”. Networking on Twitter has been hugely successful for me and I know I help people out as well. But it’s a personal decision and at the end of the day it doesn’t matter what method you use, but how you use it. Anyway, here’s the answer I posted on LinkedIn:
It doesn’t matter if you network on places like LinkedIn and Twitter or go to events – networking is what you make of it. I find there are two kinds of networkers:
1. Those who fling the proverbial business card in your face. You can do this over a punch bowl at a crappy hotel or on Twitter by always shouting ME ME ME ME.
2. Those who try and make a real connection whether it’s over a love of dogs at a park or engaging them online. These people care about what they can do for you rather than the other way around. They let their professional relationships grow organically.
You can be either one of these people online or in person because ultimately it’s not the method that makes networking impersonal, but the person themselves.
Great points Marian. I liked your take on point #2. And I agree… whether online or in person it can be done in a way that preserves the human element of the interaction. I appreciate the read and response!
[...] John Sanders wrote a really interesting blog post a few days ago as well as posed an even more interesting question on LinkedIn. I wanted to share my [...]
Wow, this was a really great article, and I would agree with a lot of what you said. One of the work improvements that we have made is making sure that there is enough personal help to go around. If you have lost your personal touch with the people, and forget that recruiting is all about relationships, then what is the point? You are selling people and their skill sets, so if you lose that connection, was there ever one to begin with?
I don’t mind the social networking online, but there is nothing like a cup of coffee or lunch, or just sitting in someone’s office for a few minutes. It builds the personal relationship. That being said, a lot of people get on these networking sites, but then don’t want to be contacted…I never could figure that one out!
Thanks for the comment Ne Kia. And Kudos to you and your teem for focusing on the human element of recruiting. Our industry needs people like you. Cheers!